PISCES, the Fish

February 20th through March 20th
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How to Recognize PISCES

Hush-a-by lady, in Alice's lap! Till the feasts ready, -we've time for a nap:

When the feast's over, we'll go to the ball- Red Queen, and White Queen, and Alice, and all!

Then fill up the glasses with treacle and ink, Or anything else that is pleasant to drink.

If you should happen to see a Pisces behind a teller's cage, or sitting at a bank president's desk, you'll be viewing a rare kind of fish. Very few of these people can stand being confined for long in one place. You'll have better luck if you wander into a spiritual seance, visit an art gallery, walk through a convent or a monastery, attend a concert or catch a floor show in a nightclub. You might check an Authors League meeting, drop backstage after a play, or try some sunbathing on a yacht

The chances are you'll come up with a pretty good catch in any of those streams of life. The more creative and artistic, the more leisurely and esoteric the surround­ings, the more fish you'll find. The net will be full of colorful, shimmering types, if you spread it out at cocktail parties or gala balls. You might even hook a couple of mollies, or an exotic species, like Princess Lee Radziwill.

There's little worldly ambition in Neptune people. Most of them wouldn't give a minnow for rank, power or leader­ship, and wealth holds little attraction. Few Pisces people accumulate money by the bushel, unless they marry it or inherit it. Mind you, they have nothing against cash. They'll gladly accept any old coins you can't use. But they're more aware than most of us of its temporal qual­ities.

Whoever said, "I don't want to be a millionaire-I just want to live like one," was truly reflecting the Piscean philosophy. The typical Neptune heart is free of greed. There's a lack of intensity, almost a carelessness about tomorrow. There's also an intuitive knowledge of yesterday and a gentle tolerance of today. It's never easy for either real or human fish to struggle and fight their way up­stream. It's more common, and it takes less effort, to go with the current wherever it takes them. But to swim up­stream is the challenge of Pisces-and the only way he ever finds true peace and happiness. Taking the easy way is a trap for those born under this Sun sign, a glittering bait that entices them, while it hides the dangerous hook -a wasted life.

You'll be impressed with the Piscean charm of manner and lazy good nature. He's indifferent to most limiting restrictions, if they don't rob him of his freedom to dream and feel his way through life. He's even more indifferent to insults, recriminations and other people's bristling opinions. Tell a Piscean that society is decadent, the gov­ernment is cracking, air pollution will put us all in our graves and the world is coming to a dead stop, and he'll yawn, or smile enchantingly, or look vaguely sympathetic. Very little will excite him to violent action or reaction. Of course, the fish is not completely bland. He does have a temper. When he's finally aroused, he can be bitingly sar­castic, with a clever, caustic tongue. Neptunians can lash their tails angrily and spill forth a torrent of nervous irritability, but the typical Pisces will normally take the path of least resistance, and the cool waters of Neptune continually wash away his anger. To arouse the fish to a display of temper is rather like tossmg a pebble into a clear, mirror-smooth lake, You'll create some ripples, but the surface will soon be calm again.

When you meet Pisces people, look first at their feet. They'll be quite noticeably small and dainty (including the men's), or else they'll be huge and spread out like a tired washerwoman's. The Pisces hands will also be tiny, fragile, and exquisitely formed-or else big ham bones that look as though they belong behind a plow. The skin is silky soft; the hair is fine, often wavy, and usually light (though you'll find a goodly number of brunette fish). Pisces eyes are liquid, heavy-lidded, and full of strange lights. Fre­quently, but not always, they're slightly protruding, bulbous and extremely compelling. Some Piscean eyes are simply beautiful. There's no other word to describe them. The features are elastic and mobile, and you'll usually find more dimples than wrinkles. Few Pisceans are tall; Neptune bodies are sometimes awkwardly built, but with their ex­traordinary grace, it's seldom discernible. They seem to sort of flow along, instead of walking-as if they were swim­ming across the room or down the street. Sometimes they really are. Where's the liquid? It may be nearby, and the fish is attracted to it.

It can be a love of ice water, the habit of a dozen cups of tea or coffee a day, a hankering for soda pop-or a yen for something stronger. Like Scorpios and Cancerians, Pisces people are wise to stay miles away from alcohol. Very few Neptunians can have a social cocktail, then leave it alone. There are some, naturally. But too many Pisceans find enticing relief from trouble in liquor. It lulls them pleasantly with a false sense of security and it's a dan­gerous lullaby. Of course, every Pisces who drinks a pousse-cafe doesn't become an alcoholic, but the percentage is higher than it ought to be.

The fish was born with the desire to see the world through rose-colored spectacles. He knows well enough about the seamy side of humanity, but he prefers to live in his own watery, gentle world, where everyone is beauti­ful and all actions are lovely. If reality becomes too terrible to face, he often escapes into rosy daydreams with powder puff foundations and not a prayer of coming true. When life dumps him with a splash-a real belly-smacker-into a stagnant river of dismal failure and hopeless conditions, instead of leaping out of the murky danger, he's more inclined to hide behind his pale green illusions which keep him from making practical decisions. The rejected Pisces is too inclined to face the ugliness of failure by deepening his false hopes, when a determined switch of course or some new, forceful action might shower him with real, instead of imaginary, success.

Not every March-born person falls into such a typical Neptune trap, but enough of them do to make it a necessary warning. The Pisces writer may be tempted to lounge for years in bars, telling himself he's gathering material, when he's really just gathering moss and unpaid bills. The Pisces artist who can't get the patronage he seeks may stroll through the park, day after day, mumbling into his beard that he's studying nature as a background for his great masterpiece, while his paint brushes gather dust. Where is the angel who will support him while he splashes canvases with glory? The Piscean woman, left alone, with just enough fixed income to keep a roof over her head and a little seaweed in the cupboard, will tend to dream away the hours, tenderly remembering yesterday, hazily hoping for tomorrow, and wasting the bright sunlight of today. The actor, composer, musician-you fill in the i stories.

I   You may have read that the Pisces symbol of two fish, ? swimming in opposite directions, indicates that the Nep­tunian is torn by dual desires. It's not so. Dual desires belong to Gemini. The two fish in reversed directions symbolize the choice given Pisces: to swim to the top-or to swim to the bottom and never quite reach his goals. Pisces must leam that he is to serve mankind in some way, and eschew worldly possessions. Piscean Einstein, who swam upstream, formulated a whole new world of relative time. Pisceans who swim downstream serve by washing dishes or shoveling snow. The choice is always there, be­cause there's never a lack of unusual talent, but the fish, with eyes that see clearly on both sides, sometimes has difficulty seeing straight ahead. Pisces often retreats-either to the sublime heights of a dedicated professional life, or to stimulants, artificial emotions and false excitement.

Although Pisceans shrink from competition, the strong pull of Neptune sends many of them, even the shy ones, toward the bright footlights, where they can use their fabulous powers of interpretation to project myriad emo­tions. In spite of their natural timidity, they often become some of the finest performers in the theater. But only if they fight their distaste for the hard work of grueling re­hearsals, and the dullness of the dreary, but necessary years of experience. Sometimes the sharp wounds of the critics leave such a scar on sensitive Pisces souls that a po­tential Barrymore or Bemhardt retires when fame was just ahead. Memorization is seldom a problem. The Pisces memory is legendary, although with an afflicted Moon or Mercury they can forget their own telephone numbers.

To every Pisces, from the fisherman on the wharf to the nurse in the children's hospital, life itself is a huge stage. In the reflective eye of the fish, the entire scene is elusive and fleeting. Knowing this, Neptunians accept most storms with tranquil equilibrium. Despondency, however, is al­ways threatening to swoop down and bring peculiar dreams or weird nightmares which are often precognitive. When Pisces has a feeling something will happen, it usually does.

If he tells you not to get on that plane or in that car, you'd better plan to swim or walk.

Astrologers who speak of an old soul refer to a soul which has gone through many lives, retaining the wisdom of each. Often they refer to Pisces, because a life as the fish is either the most difficult obligation a soul can choose _or a chance to reach perfect fulfillment. While Aries represents birth in the zodiac, Pisces represents death and eternity. The fish is the twelfth sign, a composite of all that's gone before, and his nature is a blend of all the other signs, which is quite a lot to cope with. His surprising ability to organize and concentrate on detail which pops up now and then, as well as his gentleness, reflects his inner knowledge of the lessons of Virgo. His judgment is as fair and detached as that of Libra, and his love of pleasure is also purely Libran. Pisces people have the crazy sense of fun of Cancer, as well as both the Cancerian sympathy and crabbiness. They're sometimes full of the Sagittarian outspoken frankness and generosity, as fun-loving and outgoing as Leo, yet as devoted to duty as Capricorn, and often just as envious of social distinction. There may also be a smattering of the Saturnine melan­choly. Perhaps more than just a smattering. The fish can be as moody as a Moon child and as happy as a lion. He likes to tease and analyze in Aquarian fashion. He's often overflowing with Aries idealism and enthusiasm, but usually without the Mars drive. A Pisces person can zip around with Gemini quickness, talk just as fast and think just as cleverly. He can also be as lazy and peaceful as Taurus. He has the clever wit of Mercury and the soft grace of Venus, and he combines it with the mystic penetration of Scorpio, without the Scorpio's ruthlessness.

Pisces holds within himself the fondness of debate of all the air signs, the love for nature of all the earth signs and the flaming aspirations of all the fire signs. But he is neither fixed nor cardinal. The fish is mutable always; in this respect he is undiluted. The one and only quality which originates with his own sign is his strange power to stand outside himself and see yesterday, today and to­morrow as one. The Piscean love of music and art, and his highly developed senses and versatility he owes to other signs, but his deep wisdom and compassion belong only to him, culled from the combined knowledge of every hu­man experience. Now that you understand all that, is it any wonder that your Pisces friends are a bit of a puzzle at times, not to mention being outright kooky odd balls on occasion?

Pisceans tend to think they can live forever, and they often act as though they believed it fervently. The fish typically doesn't take very good care of himself. Chances are he spends most of his excess energy (and he doesn't have too much to spare) helping relatives in trouble or taking on the burdens of friends. Their troubles can be emotional or financial, but either can be a serious drain on Piscean health, which is rarely robust to begin with. The fish must conserve his energy and refrain from suc­cumbing to stimulants or sedatives, fatigue and other peo­ple's emergencies. Weakest as infants, seldom sturdy as children (unless there's a strong Mars influence in the natal chart), Pisces people seem to have slow metabolisms, which is why they often wake up sleepy-eyed and listless. Poor eating habits can bring troubles with liver and in­testinal functions and digestive troubles. Accidents to, or some abnormalities of the feet, hands or hips are common, also colds, flu and pneumonia. The lungs are not strong, and weak toes and ankles may result from March births. The fish seem to have fallen arches and metatarsal injuries or superbly strong and supple feet. There's no inbetween. They have a hidden inner resistance, however, and one of the challenges of Neptune is to discover this latent strength and call on it. Pisceans can literally hypnotize themselves into or out of anything they choose-including fear of cats, mice, heights, subways, elevators and people.

Humor is one of their secret weapons. Pisceans grin to cover unshed tears. They're masters of satire, and you may cringe from a bright remark thrown at you so casually that you're unable to pin down the exact meaning or the in­tent. Yet, you'll have a decidedly uncomfortable feeling. The fish can scatter caustic observations around like flashing lights which wink on and off so fast you can't keep up with them. He's an excellent practical joker, great at pulling hilarious lines while he keeps his own elastic face mournful and straight. He can move gracefully from slapstick to brittle, sophisticated jokes. Sometimes the fun is warm and harmless, sometimes it's cold and merciless; but it's always a cover for another emotion the fish wants to hide, seldom spontaneous of itself. Pisces wears his laughs as a mask, and they disguise him well.

There's a great feeling of pity and a desire to help the sick and weak. Pisces may share compassion for the ill with Virgo, but he takes the extra step to try to understand the hearts of the burdened and the friendless, the failures and the misfits, no matter how weird or how rejected by so­ciety. The fish will gently comfort those whom Virgo feels are weak by choice, and therefore undeserving. If you need a dime or a dollar, a large loan, or just a small en­couragement that no one else would give, go to Pisces. You'll get no lectures and no glances of superiority. He judges no man-thief, murderer, addict, pervert, sinner, saint, hypocrite or liar. Greed, lust, sloth and envy will bring no critical wrath, if he's a typical Neptunian. His understanding overflows, along with whatever practical help he's able to offer. He senses every vice and virtue, and he knows each pitfall. Many fish, for this reason, don the robes of the priest or monk, and spend their lives in prayer or contemplation.

To help is his first instinct. There are Pisces people who are crusty and brusque, but it's only a fragile shell, worn for protection. The fish soon learns how vulnerable he is. The world is not yet tuned to the sensitive Piscean wave­length, so to avoid ridicule (as well as to avoid being taken for every last dime he owns), he sometimes feigns indifference. The impositions of those who would trample him force the fish to hide his true spirit. Since the depth of Neptune's waters causes him to absorb every pain and joy as if they were his own, it's little wonder many Pisceans pretend disinterest in hearing sad stories. But remember that they are pretending. If you've been rebuffed once, try 'twice, and the real fish will surface.

The glorious Piscean imagination, their marvelous elfin tumor and the Neptunian sense of beauty can create the most delicate, yet eternally lasting prose and poetry. In­deed, the world couldn't do without their artistic efforts and their gentle compassion for a moment. It would stop spin­ning. You'll frequently find fish who have buried their personal dreams to brighten odd corners of the lives of relatives and friends, or to bring the gift of tears and laughter to the public through the stage, at the cost of the privacy Pisces seeks and needs. Yet Neptune is a deceptive planet, capable of giving birth to natures that twist and turn in two directions at once, distorting the truth, an influence which often causes Pisces to hide his real emotions.       ^

This thespian quality is obvious if you've ever tried pin down the elusive, flashing fish. He hates to answer direct question with a yes or a no. It's always maybe simple curiosity about what play he just saw or what boc he just read can bring an evasive answer for no reason particular. He can turn on tears, then turn on sunshine t pressing another invisible switch. Neither is truly real A is illusion with Pisces, and they find it hard to tell tt difference themselves. Their internal nature is as ui fathomable as Neptune's great oceans. The altruistic fish filled with an inexhaustible, tender love for every livin creature which is truly saint-like, when it's not turned u ward in self-pity and self-love. Typically Piscean are tr gregarious housewives with hearts big enough for th troubles of all the neighbors, and the patient bartendei who listen sympathetically to hundreds of tales of wo each week.

Hanging somewhere between the silent waters of th sea below and the vast, star-studded mist above, only bare ly touching the earth from necessity, Pisces lives his lif in lonely understanding of truth too deep to express L words. Those who want him for a friend, those who lov' him, must use their imagination to grasp the strange plane of his mind and emotions. The other two water signs-Scorpio and Cancer-are symbolized by half land-hal water creatures, amphibious and flexible-but the fish can' breathe air. He must live in cool green water, sometime muddy, always moving.

Pisces is represented, not by iron or mercury or gold o lead, but by the vibrations of the indefinable, artiflcia metals-again, an echo of the unreal and the illusionary He sees his reflection in three dimensions in the viole amethyst and the clear emerald; and his natal flowers an the water lily and the lotus. Their blossoms are pink an white and delicate, but their stems and leaves are made of strong fibers, tough and indestructible, unless they're ton up by the roots. Few can follow Pisces and probe the aquamarine nature, whether he swims downstream to obliv ion, just another lashing speck in the large, moving schoo:

of fish-or fights his way upstream to conquer the swif current and find serenity in pure waters. He is stronge] than he thinks and wiser than he knows, but Neptunt guards this secret until he discovers it for himself.

Famous Pisces Personalities

Edward Albee Harry Belafonte Elizabeth Browning Luther Burbank Enrico Caruso Frederic Chopin Grover Cleveland Albert Einstein Jaekie Gleason Handel

Rex Harrison Ben Heeht Victor Hugo Ted Kennedy Gordon MaeRae

James Madison Michelangelo Zero Mostel Vaslav Nijinsky Rudolf Nureyev Auguste Renoir Rimsky-Korsakov David Sarnoff Dinah Shore Earl of Snowden Svetlana Stalin John Steinbeck Elizabeth Taylor Earl Warren George Washington

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The PISCES Man

　

We are but older children, dear, Who fret to find our bedtime near.

William Shakespeare was a Taurus, but he left this message for anyone who is considering becoming involved with a Pisces man:

.There is a tide in the affairs of men,

Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;

Omitted, all the voyage of their life

Is bound in shallows and in miseries.

If you're about to fall over the dam for a Neptunian, you should paste those lines on your compact mirror, where you can see them every time you powder your nose. They may possibly make or break your future, not to mention your heart.

Try to untangle your probably rosy state of mind and make sure that Pisces fellow you're about to join in a moonlight swim knows when the tide is coming in. If he takes it at the flood, you're as lucky as any girl can be. On to fame and fortune! But if, perchance, your Pisces lad can't see the tide for the stardust in his eyes, and he misses that big flood-well, let me warn you that those Neptunian shallows can result in some of the most dismal miseries you'll ever know.

A Pisces man can be everything you want him to be- or everything you don't want him to be. A tide in his affairs is synonymous with opportunity. It requires a firm decision, determined action, and the ability to drown any old, soggy dreams that prevent success. The trouble is that some Pisces men never recognize that tide at its flood, even when it sloshes over their feet.

The Pisces man isn't weak. It's just that he may linger too long on a fading, silver star, and miss the bright sun­light of success. Not all Pisceans are gentle dreamers. But more of them than you can scatter with a pebble are. However, there is hope. There's always hope, where there's life. Although the world needs his lovely imagination only too desperately, there comes a time when the Pisces male has to go about the business of earning his potatoes. When he does that, he has a snap of it, because the Neptune intuition coupled with his clever mind can turn him toward sensible goals which could bring him fame and recog­nition-even wealth and immortality. If not all that (you can't hit the jackpot every time), then at least respectability and comfortable security. Let's hope that's the kind of Pisces male you're sailing with. Practically no other Sun sign can stop his potential under those circumstances.

However, if, say by the age of twenty-five or so, he hasn't recognized that tide in his affairs, frankly, his future isn't too hopeful. You think that's unfair? All right, make it by the age of thirty-five, but you're gambling. When I said his future isn't too hopeful, I meant with you. As a wife-with the family routine. His personal future can be more or less satisfactory. Lots of Pisces men who can't bury stale dreams and dig up fresh ideas for success live fairly contented lives. That's because all they need is that dream, rusty as it is around the edges. Add a jug of wine, a loaf of good rye bread, and he's as happy as most of us other misfits. Ahl You noticed I stopped short of one item. It's a loaf of bread, a jug of wine and Thou-right? I'm glad you're up on the Rubaiyat. But you see, I left "Thou" out on purpose. The dreamy, sensitive, artistic fish can exist nicely on bread and wine-even thrive on it. But such a diet won't feed a wife, one to five little bundles of joy, and who knows, maybe even some goldfish and guppies (considering his Sun sign). You need things like stockings and cosmetics and shoes and spinach and rent money and celery and milk and light bulbs and, well, you know what I mean.

There's only one way out with this kind of fish: Be an heiress. No, there is another way out: Get two jobs-one for you and one for him, and work at both of them your­self like the very dickens.

Now, I didn't say you wouldn't be happy in the romantic hours. That's one thing no kind of Pisces ever born will ever be short of-romance. They fairly breathe it. It's just that it's no substitute for spinach and baby shoes, or your sanity. The planets, in their wisdom, take care of such com­plications of life by giving oodles of chances for this dreamy, unworldly type of Piscean male to become a proteg6. If he finds a patron or patroness (much more likelihood of the latter, but it can be either), he can turn into a great painter, a great writer, a great composer, a great musician-or at least just a great guy. But how is he going to find a patron, let alone a patroness, if he has you and those bundles of joy and the goldfish and the guppies and all cluttering up the artistic simplicity of his existence?

You have to admit it just won't work. Better say farewell to him right now. You'll cry a little, and it may hurt-even deeply. But not as much as being married to a walking, talking dream, and having to face the landlord with nothing but empty wishes m your pocketbook. That really hurts.

Now that we've been brave and practical about the bread and wine type, we can talk about the other kind of Pisces, the one who grabbed the tide at its flood. Obviously, he's a real catch for any girl. There's always the chance he could turn out to be an Einstein or a George Washington, which would be simply wonderful. You couldn't ask for much more, though I suppose Einstein might have been a little engrossed in his equations on weekends and George may have brought a few problems home from the office at night. But you don't have to seek perfection. Even a super practical Capricorn or an aggressive, driving Aries man can have little flaws. The point is that a Piscean who fights his way upstream will have plenty of chances to lay the twin gifts of fame and fortune at your feet And he's quite a guy in other ways, too.

A Pisces man has no prejudices. He'll never judge an Indian until he's walked a few miles in his moccasins, or a nudist until he's tried going barefoot. Even then he'll understand and not pass critical judgment. He's very short on cold accusations and very long on warm tolerance. He'll even make a stab at trying to understand his mother-in-law, and how many men do that? The Neptune male possesses a rare sympathy of spirit. His friends confide in him and never worry that he'll be shocked. It takes a real blockbuster to shock the fish. If you and I and your Piscean were all three sitting in a room, and a man walked in and told us he was a little worried because he was a bigamist, with four different wives in four different states- you might glare at him and think he deserved to go to jail;

I might sneer at him and call him a skunk; but your Pisces man would probably ask, "What four states? Were you in love with any of them?" The fish is curious, but totally shockproof. As far as he's concerned, the fellow needs heaps of sympathy and a darned good lawyer.

He might tell a secret or two accidentally, never on pur­pose. Pisces sometimes speaks before he realizes the pos­sible damage. It's a little tough for him to comprehend that what he says could perhaps be interpreted in the wrong light by more severe souls with less relenting atti­tudes. (It would take some thought, for example, for him to grasp that people like his sister or your mother wouldn't understand the domestic difficulties of that poor bigamist.) However, once the fish has been specifically requested to keep it under his fin, he'll be close-mouthed and reliable, and you can trust him with your darkest secrets.

An occasional Pisces who's the victim of an afflicted Mercury talks very fast, fluently and frequently. But the typical Neptunian speaks slowly, thinks gently, and tries to mind his own business, even though he's continually sub­jected to the problems of friends, relatives and neighbors. They flock to him because Neptune listens so beautifully. You'll find yourself tempted to confide your own little worries with the broken hair dryer, your father's sinus trouble and your overdrawn bank balance, but try to go easy. If there's anything a Pisces husband or boy friend doesn't need, it's more tribulations dropped in his lap. Others have been dropping them all day. Bundles of them. He needs some relief when he's with you. People don't mean to impose on Pisces. They seldom realize that the Neptune nature is so receptive it just soaks up all the vibrations around, good or bad, joyful or fearful, dark or light. The life of an absorbent, spiritual sponge can be kind of wearing on the psyche, as any mystic can tell you. (Many of them are Piscean.) The very fact that he's sensi­tive means that he vividly feels the emotions of those who seek his ear and get his heart. Pisces people often have to rest for long periods. The Neptune soul must be alone at times so fresh breezes can blow through to heal the wounds of all those vicarious troubles and bring back calm, undefiled individuality. So never begrudge your Pisces man his moments of silence. He sorely needs them. If he feels like being alone or taking a walk by himself, let him go. Too much togethemess can spoil the beauty of Pisces love. It needs space to grow untangled.

Remember that the fish is sensitive and can be easily hurt. His shyness is due to a painful consciousness of his own limitations, whatever they may be, and he feels them keenly. He needs to know that his virtues are counted by someone he admires. You. Never hold back encouragement from him.

He may try Yoga and Zen, or experiment with occult beliefs, and hell probably be interested in astrology and numerology, even reincarnation. Like the Scorpio, he was born with an understanding of esoteric principles, and these things are usually good for him. They help keep his emotions stable, and they provide an anchor for his vivid imagination. Pisces men get upset now and then, but their anger is seldom violent or long lasting. When it's over, the waters grow placid again, and life is just as peaceful as before. Some Neptune males do a little yelling around the house, but it's harmless. It's almost impossible for the fish to really bellow, like Taurus the bull, for example. See how lucky you are?

Although he's difficult to fathom himself, Pisces has no problem in seeing all the subtleties of others clearly. It's difficult to fool him; he'll look right through to the other side. Yet, he can fool you when he takes a notion to do so, through some quirk he has which makes him want to keep his personal affairs safely hidden from close scrutiny.

One Piscean I know carries this trait so far he has actual­ly been able to fool the government, and thafs no easy trick. All his life he has managed to avoid the census taker. The Internal Revenue knows less about him than they kirow about a native in Pago Pago. He gets away with it because he's a writer. His phone is listed under a fictitious name, and he's never applied for a social security card or a driver's license. He has a horror of some imagi­nary Big Brother turning him into a number and knowing all his private secrets.

Your fish may not be quite so neurotic about it, but there will probably be times when he'll tell you he was at the cleaner's when he was really buying a cigar. Why? I really don't know. Nor does he. It's a sort of mild de­ception the Piscean (also the Geminian) seems to enjoy. As long as he's wearing green suspenders and people think he's wearing orange suspenders-or no suspenders-he feels secure, somehow. Since it makes him happy, let him have his little mysteries. Why make a big deal of it? Even if you know he wasn't at the cleaner because you saw him in the cigar store yourself, ask him if his slacks were ready. When he tells you the man said they won't be ready until Monday, remark that the cleaner is as slow as molasses and let it go at that. He could have far worse habits than practicing a little harmless make-believe just to keep his vivid imagination oiled up and in top working condition.

There won't be many tremendous surges of jealousy. Or if there are, he's such an excellent natural actor (if you let him practice) that hell probably pretend them away. But he's a man, for all his poetic, tender nature, so he'll expect your technical loyalty when everything is said and done. You may have to control your own jealousy, how­ever, because he'll have warm friends of both sexes, and he'll be sympathetic to them, sometimes at odd hours. It's his nature to be gregarious. He can't help it. There's danger here if you're the violently possessive type. An Aries or Leo girl had better chase another moonbeam. He does admire beauty, and he may stare at pretty legs from time to time. But you can keep that in bounds and innocent with a little extra effort, and your reward will be a gentle hus­band who's both a romantic lover and a companion who can talk about everything under the sun.

When those spells of loneliness and depression cause the gloom to gather, toss your apron in the comer behind the aquarium, throw on a yellow dress and a golden smile, buy some green tickets to a happy show, and trick him right out of it. Pisoeans are particularly vulnerable to sug­gestion. You may hit a few snags trying to get him to be economical and cautious about money. Neptune people, frankly, aren't noted for their triple A credit ratings (unless he has a Capricorn ascendant or strong planets m Taurus, Aquarius or Cancer, for example). He'll learn, but don't compound the situation by being extravagant yourself, if you can help it. One loose spender per family goes a long way-toward the poor house. He needs a good example. It's surprising how that works with the Pisces character in a sort of follow-the-leader manner. That is, if the leader is close to him and someone he respects. The Piscean nature is vividly receptive to the vibrations around him, especially if they're intensified by emotion.

The children will find him one whale of a lot of fun. Chances are hell take them boating and swimming and snorkel diving. He'll play the part of the Wicked Crocodile and Little Boy Blue until they think they've found a human nursery rhyme, in living color. He may sprinkle them with a little way-out philosophy, sing them some mildly salty ballads, or teach them to stand on their heads, yoga style. They'll probably adore him, and they just may turn out to be well-balanced, well-adjusted adults, thanks to his rare ability to hold a tiny bird in his hand without crushing it or frightening it. You do the spanking and hell do the listening to their young problems-you keep their noses and their clothes clean and he'll keep their minds active. It should work out fine.

Never tread on this man's dreams-he won't forgive that, or forget it. Give him a chance to turn them into realities by helping him find a good, firm star to hitch his wagon to -one that will sparkle instead of fizzing out in an eclipse of common sense. In love, Pisces is a leaner emotionally, which means he needs boundless reassurance and faith, but it also means you musn't lean on him with imaginary com­plaints. His enthusiastic hopes need to be watered with understanding affection, and make sure you supply the rich soil of a happy home life. Keep the deadly insects of nag­ging and criticism away from the roots, and someday those wild and crazy hopes of his will change from useless weeds into tall money trees in the backyard, high enough to reach a few of your own private dreams. Hope springs eternal in the Piscean heart. Don't knock it. It may shower you with some gigantic and surprising luck if you nurture it tenderly.

You may have heard or read that Pisces is the sign of "self-undoing," and that could make you all nervous and negative, but don't let it frighten you. True, there's always a bit of self-undoing in all Neptune men, but just "do him back up again," like you would a package that comes un­tied. If you make the knots tight enough, it won't happen often. Serve him a dream for breakfast, a clever joke for lunch, and Chopin for dinner, with Browning for a chaser. After that, you're on your own. Don't be afraid to jump in. The water's fine.

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The PISCES Woman

'Well, what are you?" said the Pigeon. "I can see you're

trying to invent something!" "I-I'm a little girl," said Alice, rather doubtfully.

She found herself at last in a beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains.

The line forms to the right. And please don't crowd. There may not be enough Pisces women for every man, but that's no reason to be unruly. You'll have to take your turn, and hope for the best.

Even without astrology, rumors have spread about the charms of a Pisces female. She has her negative points, to be sure, but at first glance she's every man's grade school valentine, with maybe just a touch of a Playboy bunny to add some pepper. We might as well admit that the modern, emancipated woman, with her cast-iron image, has made the Pisces girl's value shoot even higher. With all that free­dom from the feminine mystique clouding the air over lover's lane, the demure, pretty, helpless Neptune creature has to beat off the men with big sticks.

It's hardly surprising that she's at a premium. The Neptune female seldom tries to overshadow her man, mar­ried or single. She hasn't the slightest hidden, neurotic desire to dominate him in any way. He can pull out her chair, put on her coat, whistle for the taxi, light her cigarette and talk about how wonderful he is to his heart's content. All she wants is that he should protect her and care for her. She's happily content to lean on his big broad shoulder and let him know, with wide-eyed wonder, how strong he is, and how much she needs him in this scary world. Just think of all those wolves out there, waiting to devour Red Riding Hoods. It's enough to make a girl get out her smelling salts. Even if she isn't quite as Victorian as all that (though plenty of girl fish are), she'll be a charm­ing listener to all his troubles, and what is referred to as a good egg through every crisis.

A Pisces woman thinks her mate, lover, boy friend, brother, father-in fact, any man-can lick the whole world with one hand tied behind his back, and it takes a surprisingly small amount of her touching faith to con­vince them of the same thing, men being the way they are. And you wonder why she's so popular? The Pisces girl is a cozy, calm haven of tranquility for her proud male, far from the noise of the frame and the ticker tape machines. The lights in her fish pond are soft and dim. They soothe tired eyes which have been blasted by neon and all those silly little figures at the stock market she couldn't understand to save her life. (Though if it would really save her life, she would sharpen her pencil.)

In the winter she wears fluffy angora mittens. In the Spring she wears dainty, full skirts. Summers will find her in a brief bikini. In the fall she'll look adorable sitting be­side you at football games, with her hands in your pockets to keep them warm, and asking you the score. She is eter­nally feminine in all seasons. At the risk of making an un­derstatement, men are drawn to her like bumblebees to a honey pot.

A short conversation with her, and a man instantly re­laxes. He pictures a glowing, crackling fire on a chilly night, or he sees himself in a hammock on a balmy spring day, with no one to nag him. She makes it clear that she'll never blame him for any problems in his career or any ac­cidental mistakes. It's always someone else's fault. Not her man's. Shell never press him to get ahead faster. His own pace is perfect with her. Need I explain why the female fish makes the most dangerous other woman of all the Sun signs? Flash! Maritime warning: After marriage she may nudge a little. To be truthful, she may nudge a lot. In a way, it serves you right for letting yourself be so blinded by her charms. Lots of times she'll even be bitterly sarcastic, but every woman has to have some flaws, and the Pisces girl will be gentle far more often than she's quarrelsome. She has to be goaded by extreme cruelty or laziness in a mate to be a shrew-and who's to say a cruel or lazy hus­band doesn't deserve it? Not me. I'm with her.

Besides, her delectable femininity covers any minor defi­ciencies, and most of the time the typical Neptune girl is soft, dreamy and womanly. Since the fish swims in both directions at once, she adapts beautifully and quietly to conflicting situations that would turn other women into nervous Nellies. Of course, now and then, some cranky words and irritable chatter may bubble up from her nor­mally placid stream of thought. Occasionally a sensitive Neptune female who has suffered harsh treatment at an early age will allow bitterness to break the two symbolic fish of her sign apart-and this can be very sad. She be­comes a lonely, miserable Piscean, always swimming furi­ously, and meeting herself everywhere she dives down to escape-never realizing that the turning inward of her end­less love and sympathy toward herself is the real poison. Drugs and drink and false illusions hide the truth from her and blind her to the rocks in the river that might destroy her. But the average Neputune girl keeps both symbolic fish joined firmly together in smooth action, gliding softly first back, then a little forward, so you're never quite sure exactly which way she's headed. Pisces is said to be a deep, mysterious sea, into which all rivers flow. You'll have a better chance of catching her if you know some of her elusive secrets. What makes her swim?

First of all, she's subtle. Ask Nicky Hilton, Michael Wilding, Eddie Fisher and Richard Burton-each of whom married a Pisces. As a matter of fact, the same Pisces. She is not only subtle, she's sometimes a bit deceptive when she practices her art of wrapping you around her emerald ear­rings.

Now, you may know a Neptune lady who wears a ging­ham apron and a shy smile, and who is the epitome of the devoted wife, homemaker and tender mother. You're think­ing that she's neither subtle nor deceptive. Forgive my di­rectness, but you are wrong. As for that Pisces lady you think is different, I know her, too, or one just like her.

She's a widow who lives in the Bronx, and her name is Pauline. She also wears a gingham apron and a shy smile -the whole setup. How can such a Fannie Farmer image be subtle or deceptive? I'll tell you. First of all, she wraps everyone around her apron strings. (She doesn't have any emerald earrings. Next year, maybe.) She's a short woman who has managed to stand up to the loss of a dear child, heartbreak, boredom, tragedy, fear, poverty, and even the confusion of sudden, very brief riches. She's coped with little boys' bruised knees, braces, lost galoshes; a husband's sloppy Sunday cook-ins in her neat kitchen-and the big­gest mixture of in-laws-all speaking eight languages at once-you ever saw outside the United Nations. She has faced all this mishmash of fate like Rocky Graziano. That's gentle? That's delicate? To this very moment, her two sons think of her as a charming, girlish, helpless, fluttery and soft little creature, who needs to be protected, and who can't quite understand how the lock works on the front door.

She's delightfully vague and dreamy. She doesn't know a thing about economics, but she manages to dress as though she was turned out by Sophie of Saks, cook frequent seven-course dinners for assorted grandchildren, pay the rent on time, and send exquisite gifts on holidays and birthdays- all on a monthly income about the size of one of Jack Benny's tips. She has the open love and affection of two daughters-in-law, and an incongruous group made up of the librarian, the super, the owner of the comer delly, the fruit man, half a dozen stray cats and children, the butcher, the newsboy, and would you believe it, even the landlord. She may have one enemy. The man she turned down before she married her husband. He probably joined the Foreign Legion in disappointment, and now I doubt if she even re­members his name. Heartless females, these Pisces women. Subtle and deceptive. (But don't try to tell their neighbors that.)

Like the March winds, your Pisces girl will have many a mood. She's terribly sentimental, and when her feelings are wounded she can cry buckets. She'll look at you so re­proachfully you'll feel as if you'd just shot a small rabbit. Pisces females sometimes get the idea they're hopelessly unequipped for the fierce battles and driving ambition re­quired to survive. Then deep depression sets in. At these times you'll have to tell her she's admired for her deep, mysterious wisdom and her blessed understanding by every single human she has ever graced with her friendship. It's usually the gospel truth. The hardest lesson she has to learn is to overcome her timidity and her doubts. If the fears go deep, she'll shut herself off from others, then wonder why she's lonely. She's often afraid of imposing, pushing too hard, taking advantage, when such thoughts are in no one's head but hers.

Now and then a Pisces girl will cover her shyness and vulnerability with wisecracks, a sophisticated veneer and a frigid independent personality, but it's merely a cloak of protection, worn to hide her uncertainty from the prying eyes of rough people who would bruise her genfle heart if she exposed it. I know one who pours out her real soul by writing lovely song lyrics with a secret message woven in the shades of her soft, very private dreams. When she's not writing, she's the picture of the brittle, callous, career woman she wants people to see. Yet, even this type of Pisces is unable to fight her Sun sign. With all her make-believe independence she waits on the curb and lets the man whistle for the cab. There are some things one just doesn't do, as far as Neptune women are concerned; not acting like a lady in public is one of them. She fools a lot of men who could quiet her inner fears and make her take back her frequent claim of, "Who needs a husband? They only mess up your life." Imagine a statement like that from a Piscean, who needs to belong to someone more than she needs to sleep, eat or breathe.

A Pisces girl will give all of her heart to her children, except for the large chunk she saves for you. She'll love them all, but the ones who are uglier, weaker, smaller or sicker may have a slight edge with her. Only a Pisces movie star would pass up the little dimpled darlings and adopt a tiny, crippled tot with frightened eyes. Female fish are the greatest women in the world for understanding the shyness of small boys and the growing pains of awkward adolescent girls. A Piscean mother spins a thousand wispy, cobweb dreams over each bassinet. She'll sacrifice anything so her children can have what she was denied as a child. She may be too permissive. Administering discipline is difficult for her, and she must realize that a lack of firmness is often as bad as severe neglect. In a way, it is neglect, of building the small characters in her care, who need firm guidance to leam to swim alone. If she's guilty of too much softness, explain it to her kindly. She'll comprehend without bitter­ness, and begin to give the hairbrush a workout. Still many Neptune mothers manage a happy medium between dis­cipline and kindness, and their offspring do them credit.

A Pisces woman will gladly let you cam the bacon and cggplant. She'll probably prefer not to enter the brutal com­petition of the commercial world, unless you desperately need her to. She had enough of that (if she's a typical Neptune girl) when she worked for that big, confusing company while she was waiting for you to rescue her. Some, not all, but some Pisces women are a wee little bit extrav­agant. She may need some help figuring out why the bank's balance doesn't reconcile with her stubs, written in Sanskrit. Still, when an emergency forces her to adapt her champagne taste to a skim milk pocketbook, she'll man­age.

She listens to the ocean, and it tells her things. In the> midst of the city, she still hears the waves of Neptune whispering to her Pisces heart more, perhaps, than she wants to know. Don't forget her birthday or your anni­versary or the day you proposed. She won't. I'll always remember the Pisces friend I went to school with in West Virginia. She was tiny, with long, dark hair and those strange Neptune lights in her greenish brown eyes. She mar­ried (among several other men) a big football star; it was a totally unexpected elopement. I remember when she asked him why he proposed. She was curious. "Well," he told her, "it was the funniest thing, Shorty. I didn't have the slightest idea of proposing that day. We were in the park, near the pool. The chicks who were lying around getting a tan had wet, stringy hair from swimming, and they looked all hot and sweaty on the benches. You were sitting there under that tree in a white lace dress, and you looked so cool and different from the others. You looked like-well, I guess you sorta looked like a girl." That's the subtle secret of the Pisces woman. Whether she follows Neptune's call as a dedicated nun in a convent or as a sultry songstress in a noisy nightclub-she's a girl. All girl. One hundred per­cent.

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The PISCES Child

Eager eye and willing ear, Lovingly shall nestle near. In a Wonderland they lie, Dreaming as the days go by, Dreaming as the summers die:

Ever drifting down the stream Lingering in the golden gleam- Life, what is it but a dream?

Most babies, as everyone knows, were found under a cabbage leaf. A few are carried in that long diaper, hang­ing from the stork's bill or were brought to the hospital in the doctor's black bag. Not your little Pisces bundle. He came straight from fairyland, clutching a moonbeam. If you look closely, you'll still see the reflection of elves and magic wishing trees in his dreamy little eyes, maybe even a trace of stardust smudged behind his left ear. His wings may have disappeared by the time he gets to the delivery room, but there's probably a small bump where they were once fastened.

You've seen those congratulation cards for new mothers, with pictures of dimpled, pink and white painted babies, fragile and gauzy, flying around over the verse. The artist used your Pisces babe as a model. This could make you think you can lead your Neptune child by the toe, or that after you've scrubbed that shiny stardust out of his ears you can mold him into any shape you like. Why not, when he's such a gentle, delicate little lump of clay? Think again. He'll get his own way just as surely as the yelling red-faced Aries baby, the demanding, regal Leo baby or the stubborn, tough little Taurus baby. The only difference is that hell get it by charming you to death, and drowning you in oceans of sweet smiles and winning ways.

As soon as the ink is dry on the birth certificate, turn in the name of your little Pisces boy for the lead in the first future production of Peter Pan or the girl for Alice in Wonderland. Peter Pan and Alice will be the Neptune children's favorite roles, and they won't need a stage to act the parts superbly. They'll still be starring in them when they're eighty. Parents who breathe the age-old prayer, "I wish baby never had to grow up," will get their wish if baby was born under the sign of the fish. The years won't leave any lasting impression: there will always be a childish, dreamy, magical quality of make-believe hanging like a mist over the Pisces. It will drench him in mystery and unreality forever-and-three-days.

By the time he's old enough to crawl into the jam pot and hide, this strange child of yours will show a preference for living in a world of fancy. He'll enjoy diversions that are far removed from everyday patterns and routines. When he's in the high chair, he'll eat like an angel, if you pretend you're a queen or a clown while you're feeding him. Wear a lampshade, dripping with all your old, sparkling neck­laces, or a mop for a wig; smear lipstick and chalk on your face. His imagination will supply the rest. When he's a little older, he'U play happily on the front porch while you do the washing if you hang up a few balloons, put some music on the record player, toss around his stuffed animals, give him some popcorn and tell him he's at the circus.

When he's old enough to start to school and begin to have those peculiar dreams at night, you'll be tying his shoes one ordinary spring morning and get a shock. "Guess who I saw last night?" hell remark confidentially. You'll mumble a polite rejoiner-now where on earth is his green sweater? Oh, there it is-on the teddy bear he dressed up yesterday, when he was pretending it was his best friend.

"Who did you see?"

He'll answer casually, "Grandma Stratton. We talked for a long time, then she had to go. She said to tell you to be sure to water her geraniums and send Uncle Clarence the money."

Since Grandmother Stratton died before he was bom, this could unnerve you a little, on an empty stomach, be­fore coffee. But it's nothing to the prickly sensation you'll get after breakfast, when he's in school and the mailman delivers a letter from your Uncle Clarence from whom you haven't heard in five years, asking for a loan to start a new business.

The wisest parents have difficulty arranging a schedule that will stick with a Pisces offspring. Schedules and routines are his natural enemies, and he'll do everything in his fertile imagination to avoid them. Babies who live up­side down-sleep all day and stay awake all night-are often Neptune infants. He wants to eat when he's hungry, sleep when he's tired and play when something attracts his fancy, whenever that might be. Trying to get him to eat, sleep or play at any other time is quite a task. Actually, it's rather a sensible attitude, but the times he gets hungry, tired or playful may vary considerably from day to day and night to night. You might as well adjust your schedule to his. He'll seldom throw tantrums, scream or balk to get you to come around to his way, but he'll gradually win you over by evasive, elusive tactics, and confuse you into Capitulation. You may even get charmed yourself by the 'sheer freedom of it. Not feeling guilty when you chat with neighbors over coffee during the feeding hour, playing a fascinating game of "Princess and Frog" in the still magic hours of dawn-or sharing a bowl of vegetable soup and a cup of hot chocolate with him in the middle of a dreary, gray winter afternoon can become strangely attractive. He might even teach you there's no reason to let that silly clock be a cruel, infallible dictator over your life. It's only a ticking hunk of metal.

The Pisces child will require a healthy amount of at­tention and appreciation. He'll have to be noticed and encouraged, because he's uncertain about his abilities. Give him as many bushels of it as he needs. Hell also re­quire his moments of privacy. When he goes into one of his mysterious moods of withdrawal, let him be. His mind is a million light years away, and you can't follow. He'll return in plenty of time for his vegetable soup and hot chocolate. Only by now, he'll have changed his lunch hour to mid-evening. If he tells you he was out flying on a saucer with a man from Mars, believe him. It just might be so.

Teachers are always confused when they try to put this odd-shaped peg into a round or square educational hole. He may not fit into either. You'll probably have heaps of struggles between his unique methods of learning and the school's stale routines. Hell simply refuse to conform to a pattern not his own. Don't blame him too much. The educational system has yet to catch up with Neptune's wisdom. Many Pisces boys and girls are artistic, and most of them love music and dancing. Typical Neptunian young­sters are light on their feet, regardless of their weight. The little girl often longs to be a ballerina; the little boy usually chooses heroes like Beethoven, Michelangelo, the astro­nauts or Saint Anthony over scientists, presidents and gen­erals. They love all kinds of books and English may be a favorite subject, since Pisces is a good story-teller. They love words, and poetry often enchants them. Neptunians may find math hard to understand at first, but they'll have an uncanny grasp of the abstract theories behind algebra and geometry later on.

There may be a lack of responsibility, which can be frustrating. Pisces children follow their own rules. They're sensitive and easily stabbed to the quick by harshness. Tears may be frequent. These youngsters ordinarily prefer the company of adults to playing with other children. Even' at a tender age, they have a deep wisdom and sympathetic understanding of situations over their heads. A child of Neptune is often accused of lying, yet they aren't lies to him. There's no malicious or cowardly intent. His young mind swims in fluid imagination which whispers a thousand secrets, so utterly delightful and filled with such sheer beauty he can't help trying to make them live in the cold, real world. The fact that these lovely dreams soon die in the sterile, arid soil of a materialistic society is heartbreak­ing. He needs your deepest pity, or he'll retreat into silent, moody despair.

The Piscean child hears songs of the sea he can never describe. The cold, ugly, naked truth is too brutal for him to bear. He must dress it up occasionally or try to warm it and color it with Neptune shades of romance. It's not fair to call it lying. Instead, encourage him to gather all his clouds and moonbeams and weave them into poems, plays or paintings. Soon enough, he'll learn to adapt to the normal world of brutality, selfishness, cruelty and greed. Why thrust him into it rudely? He may have trouble learning to conform to social and scholastic de­mands that stifle his individuality. But his parents and teachers can learn from him the value of compassion, understanding, beauty, tolerance, imagination and gentle­ness. It all depends on the kind of diploma you want from life.

Someday, either the Piscean philosophy of freedom of expression or the conformist concept will win. My money is on Pisces. Of course, your friendly, warm-hearted little Neptunian must be taught that people expect him to adjust eventually to their crazy-quilt, upside-down concepts in order to survive. But if he's shoved too hard by stem, negative adults, he'll lose his way back to the other side of the looking-glass. Don't steal his key. He needs to slip over there now and then, to refresh himself with the true wisdom of the Red Queen and the White Knight. Then he can better cope with the real world of war, poverty, disease, hypocritical ethics and ingratitude. Your little fish needs a cloak of protection against the cold winds to come. Knit it yourself with bright, gay sturdy yam. Try to understand his Neptune ways. Guide him tenderly, wisely, and when he's tall enough, he may someday suddenly reach out and catch one of his silver stars to bring home to you. Then you'll be glad you didn't laugh at his dreams. Better clear off a spot on the mantle right now.

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The PISCES Boss

"You are old" said the youth; "one would hardly suppose That your eye was as steady as ever;

Yet you balance an eel on the end of your nose- What made you so awfully clever?"

Sample conversation in an office about a typical Pisces executive:

"What's the name of that new boss the firm hired last week?"

"You mean the one who took his coffee break with us yesterday?"

"No. The one who left this morning."

　

With only slight exaggeration, that's about the normal length 6f time the average Piscean will remain in an executive position. There are a limited number of streams for Pisees bosses, and we'll concentrate on those. In most corporate and industrial areas, the Neptunian chief is as rare as a bathing suit at the North Pole. The great majority of Neptune's children prefer to swim alone-uncon-fined-as writers, salesmen, creative artists, actors, wan­dering minstrels or soldiers-of-fortune.

However, there are a few areas where he can apply his talents and make himself an indispensable boss. He has top qualifications for radio stations, TV networks, advertis­ing and public relations outfits. Running any of these operations, hell go around happily dispensing creative ideas from his superabundant fountain of imagination. Pisces sees no reason to blurt out the plain and often brutal truth, as certain other Sun signs do. Unlike Gemini, Sagit­tarius and Scorpio, the fish prefers not to tell it like it is. He would rather tell people what he thinks will have the best effect on them in the long run, or what they want to hear. It's not because he's dishonest. He's learned through bitter experience that society does not want to hear the cold and naked truth. Besides, he feels the soul requires the added dressing of ritual and beauty painted over sound facts. Madison Avenue loves him.

He's a superlative director of stage and screen, also a capable producer (if he has a good company manager). He can run a dance studio like a dream. As the head of a detective or research bureau, his uncanny psychic ability to penetrate mystery leads him straight to the top of the heap. Lots of travel agencies have Pisces executives, and they're usually tremendously successful. He's often found as the head of a charitable organization. Many fish happily lead orchestras or bands, and keep rehearsals running smoothly, not to mention producing great music. They're unexcelled as executive managers of country clubs or hotels (if there's a good bookkeeper around). They can run a progressive publishing company, magazine or news­paper competently, even brilliantly. You'll often find the fish heading up a service business of some kind, and he's certainly in home waters as the director of a camp, or in an official capacity in a church or synagogue. But that's just about it, except for teachers and professors and a few administrators in medical or law schools. Pisceans aren't cut out to be bosses, in the strict sense of the word.

With his sensitive nature, Pisces was born to serve man­kind, not to accumulate power or build huge empires. He can be a capable and competent stockbroker and a shrewd trader, but he'll almost never take over as the head of a brokerage or bond house. Too much responsibility. However, thanks to his quick, clever mind and his sometimes uncanny grasp of figures, the fish can have a lot of fun juggling the points of fluctuating shares, though it will be more like a game to him than actual work.

If your boss was born in March, he may be the type to behave like a crosspatch when he's irritated by something. He has a gift of words, and when he's being brusque, it's a caustic brusqueness that can scald a little, but he'll seldom be aggressively domineering or truly mean and petty. One minute he may shock you with his unconventional ideas, then he'll do a rather slippery turnabout and appear to be a conformist. You'll eventually catch on that he's neither a great liberal nor a cautious conservative. On different occasions, he takes either view, to find out what your ideas are. He can be, in other words, a mite tricky. When he finds your ideas and your conversation interesting, your Pisces boss will listen with nattering concentration, silently and sincerely, maybe even offer you a glass of sherry to create a relaxed atmosphere. If he finds what you say boring, his mind will wander. He'll probably daydream about far-off people and places while you're talking, care­fully keeping a fixed smile on his face. Since every one of them is a born actor, you'll think he's being attentive, but after a certain period, he'll get tired of his mental wander­ings, notice that you're babbling away, and suddenly in­terrupt. Then he'll do the talking and you'll do the listen­ing, sometimes for hours-and hours-and hours.

He may be well-traveled, and if he isn't, he'll soon make up for lost time. Like the Sagittarian and Geminian boss, the Pisces executive will keep a packed suitcase behind the couch in his office. If not, he should. Why don't you suggest it to him? He'll probably think it's a splendid idea. Besides, the knowledge that the bag is zipped and ready to take off can give him strange comfort on dreary rainy days, or in the dead of a slushy, bitter winter when he feels like jumping off the penthouse roof with boredom. He'll have his depressed moods and they will be real humdingers. Better stay away from him at those times, hum cheerful melodies while you're working, and make sure he has his hot toddy, laced with the best bourbon.

Be nice to his wives-I mean his wife. (It's a natural mistake. Along with your Gemini and Sagittarius boss, the Pisces boss is more apt to undergo multiple double-ring ceremonies than other bosses.) His wife is probably a nice, sensible, practical girl. If she were as imaginative and original as her husband, they'd likely both drown together in an ocean of misty dreams and fancies.

The Piscean executive is somewhat partial to the creative thinkers in his firm. If you tend more toward caution than imaginative strategy, you may not get as many glasses of sherry or as many comradely smiles, but you probably won't get fired. He may enjoy the others more, but fac needs you. He leans on your practical approach and your organizational ability. The favored, highly inventive em­ployee of a Pisces boss is often shocked right out of his sparkling ideas when the firm has an economy drive and the fish gently lets the ax fall on him, and keeps the steady, reliable, rather stodgy worker on the payroll. The Pisces will wave farewell sadly, but he is a shrewd judge of human nature, including his own. Although he enjoys the company and the progressive contributions of the imagina­tive employees, his own brand of creativity works more smoothly when it's backed up by the careful planning and office discipline of the old gray heads of wisdom, even if they're young, blonde or brunette heads. Discretion and conservatism aren't his greatest assets, and he's clearly aware of his deficiencies. He can always find another daring, enthusiastic dreamer when business picks up, but when the profits dip a little, he can't afford to be without the workers whose noses are worn down by the grindstone. Meanwhile, he figures he'll take care of the daring, en­thusiastic dreams department himself until things get better and he can put some more compatible blue-sky people on the payroll. Of course, there are always exceptions to any rule, but it won't hurt to let your Pisces boss know that you can be serious and sensational at the same time.

You've probably already learned that he's installed a Capricorn or Taurus as a middleman to deal with em­ployees who seek raises. He knows better than to let you appeal to him personally. The Neptune nature is so con­stituted that he finds it almost impossible to say no to a fellow human being who has a sincere need, or even just a sincere desire. He learns early to insulate himself as best he can.

Remember, he lives in two different worlds. Such a division of nature can cause a confused personality, but it can just as easily cause brilliance. His thoughts may be as abstract and deep as Piscean Einstein's, who once said, "God doesn't throw dice." Einstein meant that the law of mathematical probability isn't necessarily sacrosanct Your Neptune boss feels the same way about accepted business procedures, and time usually proves his first instincts are right, no matter how visionary they may sound when he expresses them. He's a mystic at heart, a secret believer in the unseen and the supernatural, though he may be a little bashful about it. He won't practice Voodoo at his desk or meditate in the lotus position at the water cooler, because he fears ridicule if people discover the undercurrent of his psychic vibrations. But they find out anyway, for all his clever playing of the role of tough realist.

Remember that time your heart was. broken by a boy friend who flew the coop and took your engagement ring and all your dreams with him? Your Pisces boss casually invited you to dinner, filled your sad head with the nicest compliments, then hurried you to the theater. Afterwards, he took you backstage, introduced you to the leading players, and then treated everyone to a late supper. With all that food and wine and glittering conversation, he took your mind right off your fickle fiance. Though sometimes he was gruff deliberately, so it wouldn't look obvious, for weeks afterwards, he found little ways to cheer you up until the ache stopped aching. You hadn't told a soul in the office about the breakup. Now, how did he know you needed help over that black period? The gypsy who read his fortune one day by the lines in his hand could have told you. She noticed right away that he has a rare mark on his palm-which means he's a compassionate genius. There aren't very many of them around. That's why he's a rare fish.

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The PISCES Employee

"// was much pleasanter at home," thought poor Alice, "when one wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole-• and yet-and yet-it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life!"

The abilities of the Piscean employee depend entirely on which pond he swims in. He can be such a miserable misfit in an incompatible occupation or career that he drifts from one place to another, until he eventually realizes that he's better off going it alone with his own dreams for company.

To work successfully with other people or be part of a team, the fish must be doing something that doesn't offend his sensitivity. It has to be a position that gives him the opportunity to utilize his unsurpassed understanding of human suffering, or that allows him to channel his unique imagination toward a progressive path. A job that fails to supply one or both of these deep-seated Neptune needs will create a lazy, disinterested, not to mention disheartened employee. When his needs are satisfied, however, he can be a gem of a worker, often one-of-a-kind in his field- difficult, if not impossible, to replace. There's a side to the fish that allows him to surprise you with his painstaking attention to detail, when he's in the mood. It seems to be totally inconsistent with his obvious mystical bent, but these people were born under the Sun sign that encom­passes the qualities of all other signs. It can be the "dust bin of the zodiac," as it's often called in astrology, or the turning path to shining glory. The glory needn't be achieved hanging from a star. It can be realized in a quiet way, right in your office, if the fish is happy and content with what he's doing.

The most common remark heard around an office where there's a Pisces employee is, "I can't understand him.

What's he up to?" They may never know. The Piscean man or woman is compelled, possibly by inner doubt and confusion, to disguise motives and keep his true aims hidden. If the fish revealed his entire nature it would startle or shock most people, so he keeps his counsel. All the chattering of the occasional talkative Pisces is deceptive. It still won't reveal what he really thinks, even if he talks all night, as some of them do. The quiet ones can also drive you wild by keeping their most interesting thoughts and ideas a secret. You never know what's going on inside those dreamy Neptune heads.

He'll work with a terrific sense of duty if he's happy with his job. When he's not happy, he withdraws. Only his body is there. Eventually it will also disappear, leaving only the memory of his grin and his wise eyes. It's not easy to keep this slippery employee peaceful. When the water gets stagnant, he swims away before you have a chance to filter the pool, and that can be frustrating. If he would be more open about his true desires, compromise might be reached, but too often the fish chooses abrupt change to long, honest discussion that might turn things rightside up again.

There's no doubt that the Pisces man or woman is more often found in the world of the arts, but the term can cover more than you might suppose. Pisces is happy adjusting the lights in a theater, hanging canvases in museums, stitching the lace on doll dresses, polishing the' brass of musical instruments or designing the cover of a book. He or she can spend hours blissfully teaching tots to dance, blowing up balloons for a party, arranging flowers, planning a poster advertising campaign, engrossed in creative writing, or experimenting with unusual hair styles. Now and then you'll find a Piscean engaged in a mechanical occupation relating to mathematics, engineer­ing or computing, but he will always attack such subjects from the abstract point of view.

Pisces people make excellent teachers, with uncanny insight into the natures of their students and a deep grasp of the subject they teach. They seem to have a special knack for both preparing and merchandising food and drink, either serving it in posh restaurants or supervising the operation with social grace.

If your business concerns medicine, hospitals or phar-maceuticals, the Pisces employee is probably your right arm. No one makes a finer nurse or servant to the sick. They're right at home with drugs and medicines, too. Un­fortunately, however, the Piscean receptivity can cause them to saturate themselves in their surroundings, with occasional adverse effects on their own mental, emotional and physical health. If Pisces controls his instinct for in­stant empathy, he can be a shining light in the field of health. Needless to say, social work is also a Pisces oc­cupation, and you'll find lots of Neptunes efficiently dis-pensing welfare to unfortunate humanity.

The fish takes on the color of his surroundings. If you shut your Pisces employee in a small cubicle with drab furnishings, bare floors and drapeless windows, he'll begin to look like the office itself. You'll look up one day and there he'll be-an exact imitation of his immediate working world. His conversation will be drab, his ideas bare and dull. As you stare at this listless, plain, cold and colorless creature with nondescript clothing and a mousy personality, you'll wonder what happened to that person you hired who was bright, sunny and full of fresh imagination, whose conversation was rich and sparkling and who wore vivid, cheerful clothes. Believe me, such a Neptunian transforma­tion is easier to remedy than other personnel problems.. Just hang some gay green drapes in his office, cover the floor with soft emerald carpeting, and plunk a vase of happy daisies on his desk. Pipe in some soft, low music, smile at him once an hour on the hour, and the fish you hired will reappear in his true colors. The Piscean per­sonality is elusive, but it's amazingly easy to reel it in when you use the right bait.

Your Pisces secretary may be a little sloppy at home, but she'll probably be neat at the office. She'll daydream on her own time and try to be methodical during working hours. Of course, there are exceptions, when her mind can wander in odd directions. There's a Pisces girl I used to work with in a radio station who had the most peculiar filing system. I don't think it was permanent. It may have had something to do with the fact that her mind was on a novel she was writing on weekends. One day the boss asked her why the drawer in the filing cabinet marked "L" was so full it was always popping open and cracking him on the shin. Her answer was unexpected, to say the kast. "Because of all those letters," she informed him efficiently. In all fairness to Pisces, however, she did have a Sagittarius ascendant and an Aquarius Moon, which can make for a little loopiness when they're mixed up like that.

After she left to peddle her novel in New York, the filing problems became really tangled for a spell. The first week she was gone, one of the announcers needed a music theme for a Notre Dame football game. Rushing over to the record file, he hurriedly checked under N for Notre Dame. (He was looking for the song that goes, "Cheer, cheer, for old Notre Dame" . . .) Not finding it under N, he checked the letter C, thinking perhaps she had filed it under the lyric. It wasn't there, either. Perspiring ner­vously, for it was now one minute to game time, he realized she might have tucked it away under the title, "Victory March." He flipped open the file. No such luck. The game went on the air sans music that day. Weeks later, the record turned up. The Pisces had filed it under P. Why? You can't guess? For "Fighting Irish," of course. It was perfectly logical to her. That's how every­body referred to the team in the office pool. Well, it does make some sense.

The average female fish will be a little more con­ventional. She'll be gentle and considerate, and get along beautifully with the other members of your staff. She may even be a sort of den mother, if you can call the office a den. The other employees will go to her with all their troubles, minor and major. You may cry on her shoulder yourself on occasion, she's such a sympathetic listener. This girl may read the cards for fun (though she'll secretly take it seriously), and it's a cinch she'll be able to read your mind-so be careful what you're thinking when she passes your desk.

An occasional Pisces employee can be fussy or critical, but they usually won't be energetic enough about it to be really annoying. These people need nearly as many com­pliments as Aries and Leo to feel secure, but be sure you're sincere, because they'll sense it quickly if you're not. If you have reason to scold a Pisces, you may wonder where the fish went for a day or so. He didn't leave. Not yet. There he is, hiding behind the outgoing mail basket on his desk, trying to pretend he's invisible by not speaking, barely moving and hardly breathing. He has been hurt, and you'll have to do something very sweet and lovely to make him brighten. The fish is ultra sensitive, remember. When your mood changes, so will his. Pisces has a way of cutting himself off from others when situations become painful. He seeks the sunlight and rosy, beautiful emotions. When gray or black appears, he dives down deep to escape. A thoughtless word can make him weep inside, although he'll probably tell a joke to disguise it. Pisces has a way with a clever line, and his humor, though it's not ever obvious, is seldom faraway.

Money won't mean a lot to your Pisces employee. He'll talk a good salary and bonus, but he'll hardly notice if he has to take a temporary cut in pay when business is slow (unless he has a large family to feed). Actually, many Pisces men and women are happy with a reasonable wage, as long as you're open-minded about loans. The fish will often approach you with empty pockets and a big smile a day or so before payday, and charmingly ask for a light touch to see him through. He may forget to pay it back unless you remind him. His intentions are honest, but there's always something extra he needs. The chances are just as good he gave it to someone else. Money ordinarily passes through Pisces like water through a sieve. He's sort of a middle man for cash. He'll borrow a hundred from you, then turn around and hand it to a man whose wife needs an operation. As neglectful as Pisces may be to repay your loan to him, he'll happily give you his last dime if you're temporarily short, and he probably won't be in any more of a hurry to get it back than he was to return the hundred he got from you earlier. In fact, it sometimes gets so confusing you may forget who owes what to whom. That's the way the typical Pisces sees the whole monetary setup anyway. In a hazy way, he feels money was created to spread around. When a person needs it, the cash should be there. When you don't need it, you pass it on. It's a kind of bread-cast-on the-waters theory. It works surprisingly often for the fish, but such Neptune philosophy can bewilder other Sun signs. (Of course, a Virgo, Cancer or Capricorn ascendant, or perhaps an Aquarius or Taurus Moon can spoil all the fun.)

More Pisces employees quit than are fired. They're too elusive and too shrewd about human nature to wait for the painful hook. Sensing your displeasure in advance, the fish will wriggle away before you get a chance to embarrass him. You'll find the single Piscean man less apt to leave a job lightly than the married one, whose wife probably works. ,In fact, her willingness to work if necessary may have been one of her main attractions, though romantic love was probably equally important. The girl fish may only be marking time until some man comes along to rescue her from repulsive competition, unless she's in­volved in a creative endeavor she thinks of as a career.

There's little danger the Pisces employee is after your job. He probably secretly pities you for the responsibilities you carry. After all, it's tough to move around with burdens on your back, and Pisces seeks a changing scene. The length of time he brightens your office will depend on the variety of changes it offers his wandering nature. When the snails begin to bore him, or when the whales and sharks threaten to devour him, he'll glide away. The Neptune employee will never get stuck in a bunch of seaweed.

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Revised: 08/30/11